Birthday :)

So after a long long time I'm here again...
where have I been? Well I was sitting at home and resting because I streched my tendon and it was really irritating how I couldn't do anything only lying on my bed and waiting for my leg to be better.
I also had b-day two days ago and guess what? I will post my presents and some more photos :) because I haven't been here for a while.

And if you're asking how did I hurt myself it's easy. We went for a trip ...climbing...well I love climbing so it was amazing and on the way down I made a bed step on a straight part of our journey...so that's why I couldn't do anything for last two weeks but know have some photos.

my birth-day cake :)

me in my prom dress :)

my birth-day presents from Sayu my good friend from Bratislava :)

and presents which my boyfriend gave me :)

well I guess that's all for today and I hope I will put here more interesting article soon :)

Glad you came

So after long time I decided to make a cover...
okay it's kinda embarrassing to sing pop song when I usually sing different stuff.
But I really enjoyed this one. So I hope you will also enjoy it.
Well I hope I will make more covers during my summer break so...here you have.

Nikon D3100

So maybe soon I will add new photos with really quality camera...

why?
Because my stepfather really wanted a camera...and I couldn't say no to this one...
isn't it amazing?
I bet that both of my photographers are already looking forward to it :)
So maybe tomorrow if the weather won't be so bad I will go and bother nature for a while.
That's all of me because I'm absurdly tired...
so have a nice evening minna-san :)

This love, This hate

Rainy evening to everyone. :)
We have storm right now. So I can't study at all and I decided to use this time for you...
I recorded sample of my cover even though I think I will never finish it because this song is too hard...
but still my love for it is so strong.

And this time you have my singing with my bothersome talking...seriously...I hope you will enjoy it...
and also I hope it's not hard to understand because people have problem to understand me in Slovak language too.

And here you have :)

I hope in the short time I will publish more "useful" articles :D

Have a nice day :)

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

Well, so I'm staying at home another day.
My class is on a school trip so I have another amazing day-off.
It was really needed because I'm too tired recently, thanks to school.
But to be honest...I'm overworking myself more than at school...

...studying Japanese
....English Listening
....French translations
.....Excercises
......writing
and so on...so many things to do  but the day is as always too short for doing anything.

And also today I'm really oversenstive.
Do you know that feeling when you remember something? And then...you just feel so empty inside?
Yesterday...or when it was...I remember my old friends...

And I realized how much I miss them...
but still I can do nothing with it because they're far away right now.

I somehow feel like I'm trapped in my past....

I wouldn't mind...
but I wish to people who are important to me ...stay there with me :)

Well that's all of my today's complaining...have a nice day. I guess I'm going for a walk outside even though I'm sick...

bu there's too nice weather not to use it.

Language Flower

Saying hello after a long time.
Did you miss me?
Well I had really a busy weekend so I didn't have time for anything.
Especially I overslept at my boyfriend's place so there was no chance to bother internet by my existence.

Also we had our performance last friday.
It was amazing and I really enjoyed recitation of my poem.
I recited it for three times...but I when the third time came I wasn't nervous at all.
Even though when my class was watching the second performance I can swear that they could have seen how much I was trembling.
But that doesn't matter...look what was our sweet reward!

It tasted amazing.Topping was marzipan and it was so yummy!

This week I also had an important task.
It was yesterday when our Englished teacher asked us...if we want her to continue being our teacher...or we want to have someone else...
well...it was up to me ...to inform her about our attitude to it...and it was hard to say it gently.
But I did it.
Well now I'm going to sleep. I'm staying at home tomorrow because I'm sick and also I don't have school at thursday and friday because they're on a school trip.
Three day-off. Such a a beautiful week!

Inside by Ayra Kirosaku

Good afternoon my beloved readers :)
What will I bring you today?
No, it won't be some deep (or maybe not that deep) reflection.
This time it's my poem.
I won 2nd place in own creation in Slovakia.
I really put my heart into this one and mayb it will be a little bit depressive but what can I say...
that's me...if you look at me properly you can see that "black" aura all around me :D

I know that my reciting could be better but I was trying my best :) and I should work on my facial expressions :D

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.

So I'm here again.
And now with more reasonable article.
I was inspired to write this thanks to one girl on tumblr.

What is the trust?
And who can you trust to?
Can we believe to everything what people tell us?
The answer is easily ...no.
Many people are working in that kind of industry where...if they want to earn some money they have to deceive people.It happens everywhere but at least we can avoid it....if we're paying attention on what's going on around us...
People are always trying to look like someone else.
One of my classmates used to ...and she is still doing it...copy me.
I really hated it but I was silent. I didn't say single word...
and when I was in our library because of competition...she said...
"I want to study translating and interpretation." what is specialization which I want to study.
"Oh really? What a coincidence. I also want to study it."
"You copy cat...I wanted to study it first." said she.
"Oh, really, don't tell me. I want to study it for at least 4 month or so."
she looked down and then she started telling to everyone.
"I'm going in her footprint. At first I wanted to study psychology...and now I want to study translating and interpretation."
And now?
She's always trying to be better than me in everything. She's copying my words...and then she's trying to look like...ah i did nothing wrong...don't look at me with that look of yours.
But what is the most sick about this....is that thing that she still considers herself as my friend.

It really makes me sad just to look about it...people should be unique...original...but please you're doing the worst thing you can....stop deceiving yourself...it will be painful when you bumb into the true.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

Good evening my beloved readers.
Another week has started and something is telling me it will be and long week.
And that brought me to do some thinking....
About friendship...
About that how life is unfair...
About the reason why I've turned to living zombie (because of my insomnia)

And recently I really miss someone with who I can talk honestly with...because I need my bestfriend here...
Well recently everything was hard because I'm thinking a lot and life is getting harder when so many ideas overflow your poor head.
To be honest this was supposed to be a deep article...but my plans changes...because my step-father and his friend can't be slowlier and I here every single word here so I can't properly think thanks to my headache.

And I totally forgot what was that I wanted to  write...so I guess I will let it be.
But I just want to tell thanks to all people who support me in my dream to become a model.
To be honest I've started to work on my body properly and I'm taking care of my face too so I thought that I could set some blog as diary...for what I did for my health and so on. But this one still will be one for my deep thoughts.

If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible

This quote is another smart sentence of Chuck Palahniuk.
I really admire him for his quotes...and I was trying to find something about beauty...and then I found this.

Well, what do you think being beautiful means?
What do you think being model means?
How do you think a perfect person looks like?

We should know that in ancient times people didn't mind how women look so much. They didn't use make-up and such things...it was just natural beauty. Just she and her nature.
But I'm dissapointed because of one thing.
Ideal of woman.
Do you know how this world presents perfect woman?
Skinny girl...really skinny...
she's often suffering from anorexia...
what is not healty.

And that pressure on girls nowdays is ubelievable.
Just imagine...you want to fit somewhere. You don't want to be something special...
So you're trying to find a way to your "finish..."
Unfortunately some girls want to do it in all costs...
They're on diets which are practically starvation....
they suffers from anorexia and bulimia....

Girls I want to tell you...one thing you already are beautiful as you are.
You should better know it before you do some stupid thing :)

Ayra's face in many ways

A noisy day behind me...
Well my head hurts...
And sun was pretty hot...
but I had an amazing day.
And also my leg still hurts because of my yesterday's cramp.
Actually yesterday I woke up because of cramp in my leg and it's still not gone. So walking is kinda hard for me now ....that means I rather used bicycle today :D
Even though during the morning I had appointements with doctors so it took a lot of time...
but after that ...it turned to a better angle.
I took some photos when I got back home...
and after it I decided to watch my boyfriend.
If I find some free time tomorrow I will write here about graduation at our school :)
Everywhere it's different after all and tomorrow I have some kind of duty
from Slovak Language- 12,00 to 15,00 and English from 17,00 to 18,30.
It looks like a pretty long day right?
well...enough of my senseless talking (today it's really senseless I should rather write reflection it makes more sense.)
So good night everyone and here you have

Two beauties without face

Good afternoon.
It was really a busy day yesterday.
We had to prepare classroom for oral part of graduation.
Good luck to all my seniors who has three days of examining in front of them!
I'm sure you will do well.
Well, also I went for a long walk with my boyfriend.
I rather won't count how many kilometres we did.
But we met with my good friend and we had an awesome day.
We watched motocross and I was also forced to swing one little kid....and thanks to that he didn't have teeth I understood nothing...
So I always just nodded and I tried to seem that I agreed with him deeply.
Well and also there was a little girl who was staring at me.
Believe me you haven't seen anything scarier. It reminded me the Grudge...with one difference...
that girl was a blond.
Well, I'm going to end this article because I'm at my grand aunt place so I'm going to help her
And also here's a photo from yesterday which was taken by my boyfriend.

All my feelings

Well I told you about the competition I was second in finals...
Well all my feelings are back now when I see this photo.
When we went back I was really upset because I was second...
but now I have to smile when I see this...
because it was one of my most beautiful experience with school.

I usually hate trips because they're giving me headache...or I'm depressed thanks to them
but this wasn't that case.

I have beautiful memories and I hope that I will experience something like this again.
And the next time I will get the first place.
I promise. :)

Ayra Kirosaku here again

Well, did you miss me?
I missed my blog because I didn't have any place where I could pour my heart.
Well lot of things changed from my last article.

For example I had an english contest and I finished 2nd at Slovak finals...unfortunately I was supossed to be first...but the jury didn't want to give all the prices to our school. Isn't it sad? I don't want to put my diploma on the wall just because of that.

But now something more...I decided to improve my singing skills and also my modeling skills (when I'll have a photographer)
so I set up few pages where can you find my covers or photos.
Facebook fan page
Twitter
Deviantart
Youtube
I'll be happy I you follow me anywhere :) so go on and don't be shy.

Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.

Today's quote is from Chuck Palahniuk.

He's the most favourite writer of my best friend and I can really understand why.
He can catch the true meaning of life.
Do you also smile with that invisble gun to your head?
I do Everyday.
We don't know what is waiting for us...outside, at work, with our family...we can't know which difficulties has life prepared for us today?
And so we're going to take our first step to a new morning...
Slowly, because we're too afraid what might come.
A robber? Police which want to arrest you.Flying stone from sky? Everything is possible.
I'm also scared of every day.

I think all people has two parts of life.

When they're looking forward to everyday. When they can't wait when night comes because they really want to have another day. They want to enjoy it as much as they can. They want to live at full blast.

And then there's another group.

When you literally pray to time...to go on slower...or to stop. When you're too afraid of another morning and you just wish it will be better the next day but in your head you're whispering that you know it. It won't be and you're lying to your bed with fear.

He's right because we can never know how will the gun of the Life looks the next time. And our only option is too wait.

Antisocial or not?

People are still more and more antisocial.
Are you asking why?
It's easy. We have the Internet and I could tell that we already forgot how to really talk with people.
Yes , it's great when you want to talk with someone who lives far away from you ...or with someone abroad.

Why am I writing about this theme?
It's easy. Today my boyfriend told me that I should be more social.
He knows very well that if he wasn't there I wouldn't talk to anyone.
He's right. I really should be more talkative. But how...sometimes I feel that when people don't have the same interests as I do ...I have no reason to communicate with them...
but it's not right.
More like I don't want to talk is that I'm scared to start a conversation.

Why?
Because I'm afraid that I will be annoying.
Because I'm not sure if I'm not boring.
Because I just can't find any reason why should we chat.

This year we have an exchange student in our class. She's from America and I would really love to practice my english with her...
but the main problem is that...
when I start to talk with her she's rather on facebook or she just read something on the Internet through her cell phone.
Well, I don't mind it...but I feel really weird and I have a big fear to start a conversation again.
On the one hand I hate being so antisocial even though I'm doing it because I want.
On the other hand it's painful to be just a loner as I'm.
To be an observer who knows everything....but no one knows that you're really there.

This always happens to me. I'm at the class for the whole day.
And someone "Ah, you're at school? I didn't notice you."
Maybe I don't let them see but this really hurts inside.
To be just an....invisible background.

And I always miss my Internet Friends who lives far far away.

Make Me Into Anything ...but just...love me

Hello there. It's longer time from time when I write here for the last time.
How have you been from that time?
I finally don't think too much because my best friend visited me...
You know that feeling when you keep some feelings inside and you can't get rid of them?
It was like this for me...for a few months but it's okay already.

You can see beautiful , optimistic , cheerful life...and that makes you think that you don't have to worry about everything.
Thanks to this beautiful weather I've started with jogging and my mind is so clear when you compare it to my mind during the winter.
I'm glad. Because it feels better than when I was worrying about everything.
Even though I still have problem to start conversation with people but it's better now and it's going to improve.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm alive :).

And I will be even more alive...so you can look forward to my next articles! :)

Anorexia

What is it?
The problem of some young girls...even some older women.
Why are people suffering from anorexia?

It's easy. This world isn't easy to live. We have to withstand lots of troubles.
Anxiety, despair, collisions, sweet delusions, hostile people, agony, distress and lots more.

All of them start to influence our behavior. For example my mom forced me to eat because she was desperate of amount which I ate.
Maybe you're asking why I picked anorexia.

Girls who don't eat anything because they're trying to lose some weight...or they just don't want to eat.

The answer is easy. I was really close to it but fortunately I avoid to it.
Even though I still don't eat much and people think that I'm insane or that I'm suffering of anorexia...
but it's hard to explain it when anyone doesn't want to understand.

I had some problems in my family and it reflected on my lifestyle. I had insomnia and a starting state of anorexia.

Well. Lots of people just succumb to stress and they overdo it. That's the main reson why today's young girls are suffering from anorexia.

But how should we stop it?
It's only up to people and the only thing I can advice to you...is to stay strong. It doesn't matter how big is your problem. Important is to not really just on yourself ...but to find a person who will listen to you. A person who will be able judge the situation and gives you a good advice or a good idea what to do in situation you're in.

Don't give up.
First of all you have to take a proper care of you. And then you can solve all you want to.
But you wouldn't be able to move on if you forgot about yourself.

That's all I can say. I hope this article can help to someone.
I know how you feel because I got trought a mental anorexia.

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

Everyone lies...
It doesn't matter if it's a white little lie...for others...
or just to cover our own back.

Do you lie? How many lies are you able to create during one day?
Imagine it. What if your nose would grow because of your every lie.

Try to empathize with Pinocchio. Would you be able to manage a life like this? Everyone could tell when you make up something what did not happen. Everone would know how honest are you with them....

This could bring people to hate you...or it could force you to dislike people.

Telepathy, growing nose...,lie detector , anything what would help you to expose a liar....it's better to let it hidden.

The world is not the best place but it would be even worse...if we knew that people are not sincere with us. We're the ones who should control how much we lie...and it's up to us if we want to see deceits of the others.

But we should know that the biggest liar is the life. It's always deceiving us and it's hidding lots of things from us so we have to find out by ouverselves.....

But I will give you little advice. Don't lie...because it just makes your life harder. Be frank and always tell what you think because I know many people who fell to their own trap.

 And I hope you won't be one of them.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

It doesn't matter how hard we try....
That is what we're saying in this time.
No one notices my effort and no one can appreciate it. Is there some point to keep trying?

Of course it is! We shouldn't try for others but for ourselves....
We have to keep fighting for our time and we have to overcome some barriers during our life...
it can hurt sometimes...
but that doesn't mean that we should give up.
There's no reason for it when we have a chance to succeed.

The Life gave an opportunity to us and we should use all of it. We should turn every minite of our time to an experience which we don't want to forget.

As the title of article says "Fall seven times, stand up eight..." it's a japanese adverb...
even though Japan has hard times they are really optimistic people who always try their best.
When they see some challenge in front of them they won't just avoid it. They will go ahead and try to overcome it.

This is reason why should we take an example from Japan people...maybe you think that you wouldn't be able to stand again...
but if you have enough of will power...

...I can promise you that you will be able to stand on your own feet....to create your own world...with your own reality. To control your own life.

That's what we're aiming for during our life, isn't it?

We were born to be...

Well it was a long day and my brain just refused to stop...
So...Today I did a lot of thinking. About what?
We're living beings. We were born to be.
But our whole life we're just under a big stress and pressure.We don't even have enough of time to breath.

Personally, I would like to find a place where can I relax. I always thought it's my room...
but recently I feel some kind of anxiety when I'm here.

We were born to talk with people...
Even though when we're feeling lonely we keep it for ourselves and we don't say a thing to anyone.
Is this a right way how to solve problem of this age?

I don't think so.
We're hiding in front of reality because we're just too scared of being discovered.

Me too. I'm the same.
Always locked in my room. I'm trying to avoid depression.
I think that we should take all of our courrage and we should face our problems.
Well easy to say but hard to do.

What do you think? The way how we live...is it good or not?

Watashi no namae....

Good evening everyone,
My name is Ayra or Petra. But I prefer Ayra.
Why did I set up this blog?
Answer is easier than you think. I just want to improve my english.
I want to study translating and interpretation and I want to do everything what is possible to hone my skills.
But for now I will tell you more about me.
I live in Slovakia.
I was born at 2nd August.
My hobbies are writing, reading, learning languages, anime and manga and of course meeting new people.
My favorite quote: Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?
I'm following my dreams even though they sometimes change.

Nice to meet you.